Every pregnancy is different, every mom is different, and every baby is different. Every family has their own story to tell and no one should be ashamed of their story no matter how simple, complex, happy, sad, easy, or hard your story is. “Mom” at any stage of motherhood is a hard, rewarding, great, complicated, exciting, and the most loved title you will ever hold! And, no matter if you feel you are the best mom in the world or the worst mom in the world today, remember you are always a rockstar mom!
Our Maternity shoot at Duke Hospital by Nurse Kayla
Striker Gray was the best surprise my husband and I received. The timing was hard and the pregnancy was not easy but he is our world and we love him as deep as the oceans and beyond. I was diagnosed with Vasa Previa at week 20, landing me a VIP stay at Duke hospital at week 27. Striker arrived by emergency C section into this imperfect but beautiful world at week 31 and 6 days. Striker had a 5 week NICU stay at Duke Hospital and Vidant Medical Center where they took care of our small bundle of joy as if he was their own. Finally we got to come home. Striker came home in September, and with October being right around the corner so was flu and RSV season. I took and still am taking all precautions to keep Striker from getting sick. The timing of his release and new static’s on SIDS has turned me into the ultimate unapologetic over protective momma bear.
Over the top Momma Bear
Striker is my first, and I have heard many people say “you are over protective because he is your first baby.” Maybe that is true, only time will tell. But Striker was also a premie baby and is considered premature until age 2 when the “corrected age” finally sets in. Premature has nothing to do with a babies weight; it has everything to do with how early they where born, their lung development, and any other issues at birth. I follow doctors orders to the T; what Doctor A says goes. Striker is always in the form of safe sleep no matter if he is napping and I am awake or if it’s night time and we are all asleep. Striker is 5 months old and still wears a owlet which tells me and the hubs his oxygen level, heart rate, and if he is moving. We only take him in public for a few reasons; doctors appointments, we have no one to watch him while we are out, or we absolutely can not take being in the house any longer. I over wash and sanitize my hands and ask that all family and friends wash and sanitize before holding him (My husband can testify I am the sanitizing police when we are in public with or without Striker). Striker has only been around close family members and friends with their flu shots, and we have missed important family functions because of it. Striker does not go to daycare, gym nursery’s, or church nursery’s. Striker has only ever been around two other babies because Doctor A advises him to stay away from kids in daycare–not because daycare is bad but because daycare hold germs (again what Doc A says goes). When Striker is left with a babysitter they are given specific instructions that may sound over the top but it’s nothing I do not do myself.
I Know What You are Thinking
I know what you are thinking, whoa this momma is doing too much, and that is okay if you think that. Every momma is different, every baby is different, every doctor is different, and every parent gets different instructions from their babies physician depending on premature, term, allergies, developmental, weight, needs, genetics, and more. So am I saying if you do not do what I do with Striker you are a bad mom and you better step it up??? HECK NO!!! Like I said before you are a rock star mom and you are your babies voice and you know how to take care of that bundle of cuteness! And no one is a better mom for your baby than you !!! SO what am I saying then?
The Unapologetic Momma Bear
You take care of your baby the way you see fit, it doesn’t matter what people say, what people think, how your friends are raising their babies, if you breast or bottle, circumcision or non circumcision, keep them in a anti-germ bubble until they are 2, or you take them to Walmart the day they get out of the hospital, put them in daycare, stay home, or get a nanny, use pacifiers or don’t use pacifiers, vaccinate or not vaccinate, let them cry it out or pick them up and love them at the sight of the first tear. You do you momma, and be unapologetic about it! As long as you are following doctors orders, keeping the baby’s safety and health in mind at all times you go for it ! Be that unapologetic protector, provider, caregiver, and Momma Bear you were designed to be for your baby! You Go Girl! Your doing a great job !
To those given the Momma Bears a Run
Maybe you are a friend, relative, co-worker, or even a mom yourself and you are giving momma bears a run for their money, bossing them around, judging them, picking at what they do and don’t do, criticizing their every decision, or even given your advise where it’s not needed, stop. These mommas got it under control and if they don’t guess what they will figure it out, or ask for your help then. You have no idea why momma bears choose to do what they do with their babies. You do not go to their doctor appointments with them, you are not their to see which approach works better for their baby, you did not go throw the difficult pregnancy, you did not lay your life down for 9 months so that child could have life, you did not hold that baby in the NICU with tears in your eyes counting the days until they could come home, you are not experiencing the postpartum depression and anxiety, and ultimately you weren’t there in the bed room when the child was being created by Momma and daddy so GET OFF the mommas backs !!! These Momma bears are the voices, the advocates, and the decision makers for their babies who do not have a say, do not have a voice to speak up, and don’t have a choice. These mommas are doing their best and what they think is right. Your job is to support, support, support nothing more and nothing less.
Bowing Out Now
I have seen several post, heard from several mom friends, and experienced this myself. The fear of doing things differently than other moms, having loved ones disagree and fight with me over the way I raise my baby, dealing with the anxiety and depression after child birth. I see comments scattered all over social media and I felt it was appropriate for me to give my thoughts on this topic ! And let the moms out there know ! It’s okay to be yourself in motherhood, it’s ok to choose differently from what your friends choose or do something different than what people think is right, and it’s ok if your baby isn’t on the same schedule, milk, sleep pattern, or playing abilities as the next its all okay !!!
Be true too you Be True to Your baby ! And keep up the good work !!
Be Bold, Be Beautiful, Be Inspired, MUCH LOVE!!!
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